Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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