Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
