she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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