I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
