Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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