My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Fuck me I smell like cheese
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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