We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
