I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
