She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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