Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
