Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
