this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We left the knife in your bed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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