I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
