help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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