I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can I color on your dick again?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
