Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
