I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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