He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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