Your tits are I can't wait for
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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