We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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