Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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