At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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