The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
vagina is talking i cant
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
