You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
