so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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