Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
