Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
