my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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