I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
