I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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