Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
