If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
