We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
