ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
