Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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