just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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