I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
