Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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