Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize