Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
