You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
