Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize