Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize