I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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