Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
