May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
from now on my penis is your penis
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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