Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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