____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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