What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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