I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize