nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
