It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
