the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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