So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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