Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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