i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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