Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
